Choosing A Diet And Moving Through Changes

So..a lot has happened over the past few months. Everything started when I was let go from my county job and has changed more times than a hipster at a square dance. (not sure how funny that is but the visual amused me in any case. I mean have you ever tried square dancing? It’s pretty tough). Now where was I…oh yeah. Happenings and goings on. So to start, I am now officially in my “dirty 30’s”. My birthday was June 6 and I, like the little kid that I am, went to the Wildlife World Zoo and Aquarium with my girlfriend. I also went to see Insidious 3 with my Fiance and a week later he and I went to see Butterfly Wonderland. Every bit of them was well worth the trip. I quite enjoyed feeding the birds at the zoo. And I got to pet some young llamas and stingrays. Butterfly Wonderland is apparewntly one of the biggest butterfly atriums in the US. I couldn’t walk 2 steps without one flying in front of me. Sadly my phone died so I didn’t really get much for pictures. But I will have a  picture of me and my fiance on my instagram or twitter with a fake rainforest. It was all really fascinating.

Let’s see…I ventured in to the world of the census, working as an enumerator. So that was an experience..a very hot experience here in lovely 100+ degree Arizona. I had to miss a day here and there due to the heat. That ended yesterday. Anythinbg else…hmm..well if you follow me on twitter or instagram, you’ll know I went to the Phoenix comicon last month. Though lucky me..I got sick right before it and have been fighting a cough on and off since. It’s rather annoying really. Other than that I am still doing captioning and going about my days as per usual. Oh! I am going to be going to school for Social Work in the fall. Getting my BSW. It will take 2 years to get it finished but I’m diving right in to the major classes. I’m glad I finally looked into social work. I’d thought about it before and talked myself out of it..but I know this is what I am looking for. I have spent years trying to feed that need I have to take care of people and help them. Call centers were a poor way to fill that void, helping people in little things here and there. It was never all that rewarding. In Social Work, however I use the degree, I can actually make a difference in lives. I can see the results. Whether I become an advocate for families with a disabled relative, or helping kids make their way through the foster system. I want to be the person that helps people to make a change in their life, even if I am just that friendly social worker who helped someone find a place to call home..or whatever. lol So yeah..here’s hoping I can find a job like that.

Also..for years I have been wanting to see The Phantom Of The Opera live on stage. It has not come to Arizona at Gammage in quite a long time. I was torn, because all I could think was that my uncle was not here to see it with me. It made me really miss him. I wasn’t sure I’d get to see it. But then my girlfriend’s mom ended up having tickets she couldn’t use. Lo and behold..I got to see it afterall. I admit that I got a bit weepy at the begininng, overwhelmed with emotion that now, years later I was finally seeing this show. It was a beautiful show. And I love S for taking me. I’m glad I had her with me, because the burst of emotion was so overwhelming. I’d give anything to go to another show with my uncle.

Now in my previous posts I have been mentioning wanting to make a change. There has been just too much going on for me to get on the diet/fitness train..but now I am ready. I have decided to start off with the Atkins diet and see where I go from there. If I can get through Phase 1, I will continue on with that. If not..I’m open to suggestions. And in fact, I have created my first ever poll in order to get recommendations. So if you would be so kind, I’d love some feedback on the diets you all have tried.

I’m a bit ashamed to put up my current weight and stats..but I’ll be doing that in the next few days. I look forward to hearing about all of your diet ventures. Thank you in advance and as always, keep making that fat cry!

-Aubrey

These Are Not Few of My Favorite Things

Hi all!

So…if you follow my Vlog at all, you will know that I recently did a video on my favorite things about myself. If not..I’ll recap below, as well as providing a link to said video. I am trying to move things in my blog and vlog, in a more positive direction. (By the way..as I write this I am watching a really random and amusingly disturbing Japanese movie called Suicide Club.) Anyhow, in addition to my vlog about the things I like about myself, I felt I should write about things that I am not quite as fond of about myself and some ideas on what I can do to change these views.

My favorite things about myself are..my eyes…my lips…my hair..and my voice. As you can tell…that leaves a lot about myself I do not care for. A lot.

 So now…on to the harder part. the following are things that I am not very fond of.

chubby tummy

thick thighs

small chest

wobbly arms

 

 

 

 

So…what am I going to do about this?

Some of these things..well one of them, I can’t really change. A smaller chest kind of comes more from genes than anything, and I don’t plan on paying to make them bigger anytime soon. For the other things, I really just need to get back on track with my eating and exercise.

At a base level, I need to start getting out and walking or dancing or anything else that will get my off my butt and get moving. I’m thinking that using the Shopkick App to earn points will help a bit with that. As long as I keep my wallet in the car and just walk around getting the points..I can get some exercise. I’m planning on getting into yoga again and if I can make the room..I want to play the dance games we have at home. Plus I still have belly dance workout dvds. So I have an idea where to start with that.

Next, I need to start building up muscle. When I was on the East Coast I was much stronger, because I was always lifting my brother. He is 21, almost 22 now and he’s not a short little guy. If he were walking he would be of a decent height. He’s such a cutie-pie by the way..I miss his smiling face.

Isn’t he a cutie?

Finally, the most important thing, is to get my diet under control. I think once I’m working again and have a set schedule..it will be easier to get back on track. No more late night food runs because my girlfriend and I have the munchies, no more eating easy crap because it’s readily available. I need to work also on portion control! That is a tough one for me. As an emotional eater, it is very hard to tell when I’m full, as I tend to eat a bit mindless and frantically when I am upset. I’ll be working on that soon…right now..finding a job is my main focus.

So there you have it, my favorite and not so favorite things about myself. Comments, questions and concerns? Leave in the comments, as I definitely appreciate feedback and suggestions.

Hope you all have a good weekend, and as always..Keep Making That Fat Cry!

 

-A

Wedding Thoughts And A New Vlog

Hello all you shining stars out there!

I hope everyone is doing well. I had a rather nice weekend, with the exception of a few issues with the house like the kitchen drain being super clogged. It wasn’t even a slow clog, it just suddenly stopped draining. So that should be fun to try and afford. Blah..I have never wanted so desperately to do the dishes lol.

Anywho..so I am still getting back on track with my eating but the Wolf is helping me. Handsome dominant that he is, he is going to sign up as a coach on Sparkpeople. I don’t know how many of you have the type of dynamic I have with him, but it’s a pretty cool way for him to monitor my eating and help keep me on track. I also did check out the gym offered at work and I plan on starting there tomorrow. I’ll start with 2 days a week and slowly increase it as I’m able. I really want to do some dance classes for workouts..because I really enjoy dancing. I get so lost in it when I have an open space, headphones and no one around to see me twirl. *sigh* closet ballerina wannabe..right here.

I have also been creeping into thoughts of my upcoming wedding. I have time to plan but I’m having some trouble. It will sound a bit odd, but it’s very hard to think about my wedding without my uncle there. I keep thinking of all the things he’d have helped me with and done for planning. It makes me really sad to think of walking down the aisle without him there by my side to give me away. My dad will be there, but I was much closer to my uncle. I’ve been trying to find things to help with closure..because the feelings never really seem to go very far before they return. I’m hoping to go to Disneyland if I can afford 2 one day tickets. I want to visit my dad and go spend a whole day there with him, if he’s up for it. I haven’t seen him since last year after my grandma’s passing.

Today..well..yesterday..was the anniversary of her death. It definitely doesn’t bother me as much as my uncle, but then she wasn’t herself anymore by the time she passed on. I try very hard to keep in my mind, the memories of Christmases past with her and my dad and former step-mom. I’m just sorry my cousins and brother’s never got to really experience that side of her. The lovely tree, the choir, art and paper craft books. I loved to see the animals she had over the years. I miss those memories of her and wish I could have done more for her..and my dad’s brother as well.

I tried…he and I don’t talk anymore because of something stupid and childish on his part. He has burned every bridge and who knows if any of us will ever talk to him again. I may try and invite him to my wedding..but I doubt he will go.

Well..that was a rather sad note to end this blog on..sorry about that. I think it is time for bed, so I will stop here. A link to my vlog can be found below.

And as always…keep making that fat cry!

Vlog

Vlog 6 – Plan Of Action –

Because I’m All About That Water

About that water, about that water, no soda.

So, if you haven’t guessed from my little tribute to All About That Base, I am currently working at dropping soda from my diet. I plan on giving up one new thing per week and starting one new good habit per week as well. So I am dropping soda, but I am going to start taking the stairs at work when I can as my healthy habit. I am usually on the 5th floor of the parking garage and it actually felt pretty good walking up all those stairs. I am also back to tracking my walking with my fitbit flex. My company also has a small gym we can have free access to. I am working at gaining entry to that gym so I can start pushing myself to go after work.

Also…just thought I’d share my steps from my fitbit app.

6,065 steps today!

This thing tracks sleep too. If you’re not sure what a fitbit is, you can always check them out at http://www.fitbit.com/home and look over their products. I also have the Aria scale which will sync with my fitbit dashboard as well.

In other news..I am attempting to work on a Vlog on Youtube.com. I will keep you updated and post once I’ve gotten that up and running. Now..it is after 1 am and I should be getting to sleep.

So until next time, keep making that fat cry!

-A

Some Progress

So…I have been keeping up with my weightwatchers for a couple of weeks now, with tracking at least. I really trying now because I am determined to get into better shape and be in better health. I want to feel better about myself and maybe inspire others to do the same.

There are so many youtubers out there making a difference and it is so inspiring. On the saddest of days, all I need to do is wander through youtube and I can find someone to make me smile or to distract me. The newer generations it seems, do not watch news programs in the typical way. They watch the rather more honest views of the novice voices of youtube. People on youtube do have their sponsors but rarely do they ever have any true agenda.

Most youtubers started out recording themselves for fun or as an outlet for their creativity and emotion. They will bare their hearts and their souls to the digital world, hoping that they won’t be cut down by the harsh words that people will spew from behind their computers. Because there is always negativity. No matter how many beautiful things there are in the world, there will always be someone who will find something negative to say about it. Even I get caught in those trains of thought.

Oh what am I going on about though. I was here writing about being healthy and what I am doing to get there. I guess I was just rambling.

I have been at my new job for a month now an I am so much happier than I was with my old job. I will admit that I feel as though I must be more responsible with this job. It does come with it’s own challenges and anxieties but I can handle it. I don’t know where I am going but it is nice to have some stability again after all the chaos I went through last year.

The support system I’ve been building is hard to keep up with..I’ve always had no trouble making friends but have struggled with bridging the friendships into something closer and more personal. Now and again I can manage with this person or that..but it’s hard. I guess I never really learned how to make those types of connections.

Anyway..I am off to watch the series Outlander for a bit, I did so love the books and now it is a series on starz.

I’ll update again soon when I find some more fun an inspiring things to share..

Until then..keep making that fat cry!

-Aubrey

Inspiration

Alright…so I have been lazy long enough. Last night I saw Cirque du Soleil’s Dralion. Such a beautiful show and inspiring. In another life I so would have loved to have been one of those dancers up there, in this one, however, they have served the purpose of getting me off my ass again. I’ve gained a lot of weight back and I am determined to lose it again.

My other source of inspiration was a rather unique little workout I recieved an email about from Self Magazine. I’ll post a link below. I am determined to get my act together. I’ve set my regular alarm earlier and I plan on starting up again at my work gym and at home.

Also..puppies could use their regular walks again.

Alright here is the link to that workout..and wish me luck!
dance/yoga workout

Oh! And also..once I get back front trip to Cali I plan on starting up weightwatchers again. It’s about time!

-A

Let’s all sing like the birdies sing..

Let’s all sing like the birdies sing, tweet..tweet tweet..tweet tweet..

This is the song that has been in my head for the last hour or so since my walk. My body decided 4 am was the perfect time for me to wake up. I will say that I was exhausted after my first day of work. I had to go a whole day without a nap! Lol. So yeah..4 am..I puttered around for a bit than threw on some clothes and headed out for a walk with the dogs. There are so many birds tweeting (in the non-computer way lol) just before dawn. It’s like they really do greet it as it rises. So you see why the song is my head?  Lol.

Let’s see..so my first day of work was fun. It was orientation actually and training starts today. I still have about 2 hours until I leave for work. It’s rather nice. I’m sure I’ll be dying for a nap later and wondering why I didn’t just go back to sleep this morning. It rather feels like starting a new semester of school. New people, new place and the like. I’m rather excited about it.

Now let’s see..puppies and I made about 30 minutes for walking, I did some arm exercises with my resistance band, and I did some stretching and yoga. Next time I use a thigh exercise machine I need to stretch before and after..because I am still sore in the inner thighs area. I tried to stretch it out but to no avail lol. Oh! Also I found out the gym at work is free unless you want to spend 15 a month for a trainer. Pretty nifty. Mayhaps I should workout there tomorrow as they even have showers and lockers. Pretty cool.

Also..I did gain a couple pounds in Vegas but walking every day will easily kill those. I think I’m still well on my way 🙂

Till later..keep on kicking ass! (You’re own that is :-D)

-A

One More Day

So tomorrow morning is orientation for my new job and I’m both nervous and excited. I have a lot to do before then to make the transition easier. Laundry, cleaning, etc to make sure things are all together for me in the morning. The pets need more food to, so that’s important.

So I did gain two pounds from Vegas, but than I expected it..so it’s not particularly upsetting. Also..that leg workout from Friday has left me still a bit sore about the thighs, so I’ve been a bit lazy about muscle building exercises. Lol. I’m determined to do ab and arm exercises today so the day will not be in vain. Although the dogs did get their morning walk and I plan on that being a regular occurance.

I’he also decided to let some negative things go in my life. For example..dating a guy requires you to actually see them and spend time with them. 2 or more weeks of not seeing a guy who still has the time to go out witn mutial friends who will tell me as such..is not dating. So I give up on that particular venture. I’m also trying to detach myself some from drama back east because it’s nothing I can do anything about. I will be there for my mom to talk to and check inner often, but dealing with other members of that part of the family who are so kind as to make things even more difficult for her..well excise my French but they can go fuck themselves. (Amused that her kindle doesn’t consider that a valid word)

So yeah..those sare some good steps I think. I just hope the stress they are causing my mom doesn’t lead to another minor heart attack

Until next time

-A

Viva Las Vegas

So as previously stated I was in Vegas and as the saying goes, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Lol. Sadly the only regrettable thing I did was to eat as I should not have. However I did walk a ton and a little swimming. Also, on Friday I was up at 6 am to go check out the hotel gym. I felt a visit was necessary if I was going to the breakfast buffet that morning. Actually did pretty well there too. I left feeling full but not overly stuffed. All in all a good visit that was worth the pound or so I probably gained.

Now if only I could avoid the drama I came back to. I’m a wicked stress eater, so dealing with family drama is pretty much what caused the 50 or so extra pounds I’ve been working at losing. My stepmom, who is a voice of reason amongst some of the crazyness in my family, says that as terrible as it is, it’s not my problem. I mean I did drive over 2000 miles to get away from such drama..so it makes a little sense. It doesn’t make it easier to deal with when I can’t do anything to help.

Well anyhow..better not to dwell on things I can’t help. Better to look forward to upcoming excitement. I start my new job on Tuesday. A call center isn’t the most prestigious job but they pay well and have good benefits. So yeah. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll have a more cheerful post for you all. Till then this is your very sore author still feeling the pain of

yesterday’s good workout.

-A

To Pee, Or Not To Pee

So I have discovered that 5 am is even more pleasant a time of day to walk. Even as I was the dogs in their game of “To Pee, or not to pee” it was an extremely peaceful time of day to walk, almost meditative. Considering it’s supposed to be 113 today I thought it wise to start a little earlier for the puppies. I really enjoyed that feeling of being the only person awake in the neighborhood. So yeah…think this early morning thing is going to be a regular thing foe me. I feel fully awake too for my morning working at the zoo. It is sadly my last week there before I start my first “grownup” job of 40 hrs a week. So that’s exciting. Now I am off until later.

It is later. Work for 2 hours and a long nap later I am back to finish this post. So I’m about to go on a mini vacation to Las Vegas, which is sorely needed. This will be my last vacation before I start my new job. I’m not sure when I will be able to go anywhere fun again for awhile. So anyhow I may or may not be about on my blog, but maybe I’ll upload some pics. This will also be quite the challenge with my weightwatchers because we all know how tempting the buffets and yummy restaurants can be on vacation. The good thing (bad in some ways) is that we are flying in to avoid the 5 hour drive and consequently won’t have a car. So lots of walking which will definitely help reach my exercise goal for WW. So anyhow..that’s all for now. Keep up the good work my fellow dieters, you can do it!

-A